Happy Hour

I had planned to get so much work done today, and I did nothing. My editor and I overslept and had a lot of errands to run before he leaves, not to mention that its been cold and snowy all day. So, we did accomplish anything. I had wanted to pack up more of the contents of my apartment, but that went no where.

since the time is slowing counting down to when my editor leaves, so we had planned, or really were required to attend this weeks happy hour. So that's where we are.

and since I still have some cognitive ability, I figured I should go ahead and write my post new. But food is here, so I'm going to just leave this hanging.


bye.

I didn't ask for this

Depending on the weather, my editor is planning on leaving for his six month long internship in a few days. I really don't want him to go, mostly because I really enjoy his company, but there is so much going on, I can't do it by myself. I know I will get to see him every so often, and he won't be that far away, but still...

So I've been spending most of my day with him, doing what we always do, which is nothing, mostly. The weather is going to be really nasty all tomorrow, and it's my only full day off and my last real day to spend time with him. I work like crazy all week, and have an asston of homework to do. 

This is going to be fun.

I want to break free

(meant as yesterdays post.)


I really feel like I'm always working against myself. For the life of me, I can't focus on the things I need to do when I need to do then. I mean, take this blog for example. If I'm not at work, I barely remember to post. Its not like I forget, its just I never take the time to actually do it. I always have ideas of what to write, I just always put them off until I'm too tired to do anything.

and don't even get me started on my homework. I honestly need to be transported to another dimension where the only thing I can do is my homework. Sure, I'll spend more time staring off into space and day dreaming than actually working, but I like to think that I would actually get the work done on time.

I really want to do well in my classes, especially my psychology class. But since its online, I'm bound to put it off and mess it up unless I fund someone to hold me accountable. . .

wait a minute. . . I have an idea. . .

the friend I made not too long ago is both a psychology student, as well as a Japanese student. . . And I do want to spend more time with her. . .

brb guys, I gotta go send a message to her. . .

So long, farewell

Its funny how drastically different our lives are if you change one detail. If I hadn't switched jobs when I did, I would have been in severe trouble at least financially when the floods hit. If I has stayed at that job, there is no telling how things would have gone, especially in regards to the flooding. I imagine I would have lost a lot more of my stuff, as well as not had the time to take off to handle the clean up. I probably would have worked myself to the bone trying to play catchup, and I image I would have also failed my math class as a result.

I do miss that old restaurant, and I do miss all the people there. A few days ago, I found out that the Italian restaurant that I used to work at closed down. I hadn't been back since I left, and now I won't get that chance. A lot of the people there transferred to other locations, so I can still see them, but it may be more difficult to do so.

it really made me think, even if I did stay, right now, I would be out of the job. I'm glad things turned out the way they did for me, and I can only hope my former coworkers will be lucky in finding new work as well. Its rough out there. . .

eventually, I'll go visit one of the locations, who knows.

its things like this that make me grateful for what I do have.

the cold never bothered me anyway

so, its snowing again, and I'm still here working. I've had about a gallon of green tea and I don't know what I'm going to be doing past 10pm. I ought to clean up, since the house seems to have had a tornado blow through it. I cut off all my fingernails, so I guess I could repaint them. I could finish the drawing that I've been working on for the last week, or even draw my homework. I could play more of the game I recently got, which is only half crap. I'm not feeling to active, nor am I sleepy or exhausted.

I'm just meh.

and I've been meh for the last three days, hence why I don't write anything.

I kind of want to take a bath, but I'd get too hot and bored before I had a chance to enjoy it.

maybe, since its snowing, I'll take my sister's dog out and take more pictures of her derping in the snow. Maybe I'll try and recreate my home in a video game and design it exactly how I want it to be when its fixed.

maybe I'll go and buy some lottery tickets.

or maybe I'll use that money to clean the toilet, since it will actually be more useful that way. . .

maybe I'll stop dragging out this post and actually do something.

maybe I will.

maybe I won't.

And on the third day. . .

Yeah, I missed three days of posts, what of it? I've done a so so job of posting consistently for the last 7 months, I'm allowed to slack off every now and then. Besides, all I've done the past few days is sit on my butt and play video games, and work.

if I have extra time, maybe I'll do double posts today and tomorrow, but I do still have homework, so no promises.

maybe I'll do another picture post, and post some pictures of my cats that I have taken over the last few months. Trust me, they are worth it.

Expecting the Unexpected

After not working for over a week, I didn't know what I was in for. I didn't even know whether or not I was actually going to work. One of my coworkers is/was pregnant and her due date was yesterday. I'm assuming that since she is not here, she is taking it easy and not overworking herself.

when I come in every day, I always check at the front desk to check for updates, mostly regarding residents and if they have passed away. I saw two. One, who just started living here not that long ago and who's health had rapidly declined, and the other who's health was questionable, as it went up and down frequently. The second passed away this morning. There was a third who's health had also declined within the last month.

I often took care of him and his wife, whom I had mixed feelings about. She is a little hard to handle for many reasons, and she seemed to become easier irritated by her husband. When he first started getting sick, she had a bit of a change of character. He was in the hospital for a while, and she became very quiet and rather easy to deal with. It showed that she really still does care about him.

when I came in today, I was told to expect him not to last much longer. I've checked on him at least every hour, if not more frequently. He never moved, he just lied there, breathing heavily. At one point, there was someone from hospice who was with him, and she told me that his breathing was what is considered "end of life" breathing.

sure enough, she was right. We were all expecting it, we just didn't know when. I checked on him not to long ago, and that was when I saw him. He was completely still.

the rest of the process is just work related and jargon, but still. . .

is it because I was anticipating this moment that is why it doesn't really bother me? I know there wasn't anything anybody could do about it but wait.

I think what bothered me about this whole thing is how he was breathing. A few years ago when I lost my grandmother, she was in the exact same state when we finally saw her. We all were there for that last moment, and I was right by her side. I wonder, if what I'm feeling is because I'm reminded of my memories and my own experiences, and that's why it feels weird.

I'm even more upset over one of my favorite residents moving out. We had really bonded and I was sad that I didn't get to say goodbye. I saw her husband today and told her to give her my regards. I understand why she had to leave and I guess it can't be helped. It is possible I will see her again, and I'm happy she is ok, I'm just going to miss her a whole lot. I hope we at least made her happy, and the same could be said for all the residents. . .

all this was bound to happen sooner or later. . .