On long road trips, which we don't seem to take too often, are usually spent blasting a variety of music as we race though the night. Both my editor and I have a long list of songs that we turn to when in the car, mine being my whole collection which I flip through until I find something I like, and he has at least a few hours worth of tunes.
In the midst of our drive, music blasting, my on/off state of sleep, I heard songs I knew, but in the delirious state that I perceived the music was. . . Unique. I don't know why, but my brain interprets the songs differently. It makes the songs more enjoyable. One of these songs, which my editor introduced to me during one of our last trips, accurately describes everything in my life. "Dashboard" by Modest Mouse, is all about how things may be bad, but there is still a good side to things. The lyrics are what speak to me the most.
"You told me about nowhere, and it sounds like someplace I'd like to go"
"We talked about nothing and it was more that I wanted to know"
As someone who spent the majority of her developing life in deserts, it really speaks to me and reminds me of my adopted "home." Yeah, it was bad, but we still made the best of it. If fact, I can't keep away from them!
Sorry, I'm changing topics again. I don't know if you've noticed, but I do this a lot.
Anyway, life as it is now, is one (for the lack of a better word) shit-storm after another. This trip we a on is probably going to drain us of whatever money we have left, and my job has never been enough to solely live off of. Trust me, I will make an entire post about my economic situation. But on top of all that, bills keep piling on top of me. Car registration, insurance, rent, electricity, Internet, and food that isn't going to destroy my intestines, to name a few. . . It makes me wonder, why the hell anyone would want to become an adult. Things like that terrify me.
I don't want to live the rest of my life consumed in debt, and I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck. I refuse to accept this lifestyle that so many others are forced to submit to, but how can I escape? I just hope it's not to late to save those I care about as well.
Ok. I'm done now. See you tomorrow.
As another songsmith put it, "you can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you get what you need." Keep your eyes open. The opportunities are out there, and the finances will follow. And that boy is still as Hollywood pretty as when he was a kitten.
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