I'm tired of trying to justify myself and those who are important to me to whoever tried to tell us that we are wrong for being ourselves. I am one of those people who is happy to admit when they've messed up and does whatever they can to try and return whatever it was back to normal. I know few people who are like me in that aspect, but the one I did find is who I chose to stay by my side as long as we can make it.
Another thing, on the subject of anger, I, like every other human being, experiance an emotion called anger. It's not pretty. In fact, I hate being angry more than anything else in the world. There are points in life where it has its uses, but for my life, I don't need it and I sure as hell don't want it. Unfortunately that means I try and maintain an anger free lifestyle, and it sometimes means I let a lot of things pile up inside me untile I explode. It's not exactly right either, but I'm able to handle the explosions a lot better than I did before.
With everything that has been going on in my life, it's hard not to get angry with the world or everything that comes across my path. But my emotions change quickly and often in a very predictable pattern.
Normal state is usually something close to happy, if not content. If life is good, I'm extremely happy and chipper, and I try to share this emotion with those around me. If that desire isn't met, it turns into frustration, then irritation, that if it gets out of control, Anger. Because I hate being angry so much, I get frustrated with myself and I let myself slip into a bit of sadness, where I'm reminded of all the things I don't want to think about. Sometimes it swaps back and fourth between anger and sadness several times before I'm able to climb out of that hole. But when I am, it's back where we started.
A you can see, I can be quite a handful to deal with, but honestly, I'm not too unlike any other human, and I guess that should be comforting?
Whatever, I ought to keep myself awake more if I'm at work.
Ciao.
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