A day that only chocolate milk can make better.

Part of me being, well, me, is that no matter what I do, I'm always kind of the odd one out of the group. Though now a days, I usually stay separated on purpose, I do still try and 'fit in' every now and then. It's the little things really. Like, just wanting to be part of a conversation or at least not being creepy when I over hear something. Or feeling like I belong somewhere.

This 'struggle' has been a common theme all throuout my life, with the exception of high school where I had my own crowd, at least until we all went our separate ways. Days like today really remind me that I'm pretty much on my own in the world. Solitude has always been my friend, but those times where I can enjoy the company of another person have become few and far between.

Sure, I have a small and close group of friends I see every now and then, but when it comes to a more 'am I accepted into society' kind of sense, I am extremely left out. And that's just my normal nature. 

My sixth grade principal once described me as "not quite thinking outside the box, but more thinking that there is no box." It is a very true statement about my line of thinking, or at least my processes. 

So while I was driving back to work after my very short break, this song played in my car:

http://youtu.be/MeMIzUJSpsA

I used to watch Fantasia all the time as a small kid, and I always remember this part and how I felt about it. I always felt like I was the tiny little mushroom trying to jump into the crowd of the bigger mushrooms, wanting to belong. I'd try and try to join in with the adults and ultimately feel overshadowed and I'd fall back out. That's how I feel all too often when I meet up with my extended family who have all done great things and have successful careers, while I'm still wasting my time, playing video games, working at a restaurant, and still without a degree. 

Such is the life. . . 

On a much fluffier note, my sister's new roommate's former roommate had this cat, and I guess she suddenly decided she didn't want it anymore so she had my sister take it away while her roommate is out of town. So, while my sister is away this week, I'm taking care of her animals like I always do, including our new guest, Dmitri. The first few days were tough because he was still scared and unsure of his new environment, and his first response to something I did was to attack me. I politely shoved him back and told him 'no hitting' which he would stare at me a little, then we'd go back to snuggling. He's an absolute sweetheart. Today when I came in to give him dinner, he immediately came to my side and snuggled as hard as he could. He has accepted me, and I kind of wish I could steal him. However, after thinking this to my self, I walked back to my home where I was greeted by two very judging faces who made me feel guily for spending time with other cats. 

Such is the life, indeed.