Mommy's Little Helper.

I'm just trying to make the bed, damnit.

every

 single

 time

 i try and make the bed

 she has to do this

 she's "helping"

 helping by killing the sheets

 and just generally being in the way

 sometimes she gets extra help

 but she prefers to do it all on her own

 "i have no idea what she's doing"

this is why i never get anything done.

Where has all the time gone?

Yeah, so I've been gone for almost two weeks total, what of it. I can't always be writing all the time, you know.

so where exactly have I been? Well, right here, of course. Last week, my editor was visiting, and this week was spring break, so I've been a little busy. Ok. Not entirely busy, I barely accomplished anything this week, aside from getting over a cold.

As I get back into the grove of things, I'll explain my little adventures here. I probably won't lump then into all one post, maybe if I can't do two posts a day to make up for the week, and all the others that I've missed.

its not like I haven't had any ideas, or that I didn't think about writing, I just never set time aside to actually do anything. Lets just hope I'm not going to fall too far behind because of this.

Here's to you

roughly three years ago, while on a trip to see what my new living situation would be like, I spent a considerable amount of time with a certain boy. It was the last day of our spring break trip, and I had gotten the feeling he wanted to talk with me. We just got out of a movie and I parted ways with my mother, saying I wanted to show him the creek that is a very popular spot in the town. It was a little odd that we went there at 11 at night, but whatever. He and I walked and talked for a bit, and though it was never directly said, we both understood how each other felt.

since it was rather cold out, we returned back to the condo which would be our shared home, and watched a movie. We stayed up and talked for a little bit longer, and eventually fell asleep next to each other.

we were nearly inseparable for the next day, and eventually I guess we started calling ourselves a couple.

since then, its been interesting. We've been through so much together, good, bad, adventurous, life changing, you name it. We've still got a long way to go as well. We've built our lives together and created something wonderful, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

let's give em hell, my wonderful editor.

Run, Shadofax, show us the meaning of haste.

Back when our journey west was coming to a close, I remember lying down in the passenger seat of my car while my editor drove, thinking about how our trip went. That morning, we drove up from San Diego back to Los Angeles, and after visiting with those who we knew there, we had a late dinner with my former Biology teacher from high school. Our goal was to drive to Las Vegas and be there by morning.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tL_TFXbSnLY

the link above was the song I remember hearing right as we were leaving town.

In context to the game it is from, this is what you see as you are 'leaving' the horrible science labs you had been trapped in for the last two games. What awaits you at the end is the freedom you so desired, but you still feel a slight pain of sadness knowing its over. That's what it was like when I lived in that godforsaken land for the first time.

oddly enough, all I can think about now is returning to that desert. So when I was lying in the car, listening to this song, I felt the pain of a farewell to a place I so wish to see again.

it sounds stupid, I know, but that's how I feel.

Then You Go

"downtown. . ."

I can't quite figure out how to feel right now. Soon, ny editor will be on his way to visit, and I'm so excited to see him, even if its for a short time. Things are going to be rough, but I know we'll be able to handle it if we take everything as it comes. I can't forget about work and school, as much as I'd like to. There is only so much he and I can cram into a week.

I'm hoping everything goes well, I don't want to cause any more trouble. But at the same time I want the rest of the world to bugger off for a while and let me enjoy my time with him. I can't figure out what I want, really.

I guess this is enough of a ramble. I'm going to sleep.

Waiting is Wasting for People Like Me.

I don't know what it is exactly, why I have these moments where I absolutely have to act on impulse and go somewhere or do something. It wasn't a particularly difficult day, I didn't get a lot of sleep, but I wasn't too tired. Classes were easy and all I could think about is how happy I was that it was finally Thursday again.

While driving home, I stopped for a minute and made a quick turn right when I was about to be at my house. Instead of turning south like normal, I headed north and drove to the nearest town. Maybe I needed to see the scenery, or maybe I just needed a little more time in the car, blasting music. I had thought about driving off like this many times, but I always held myself back.

I'm glad I did, driving around for an extra hour was just what I needed to relax, well, calm down to my normal level of crazy again.

it may take all of my strength to refrain from compulsively driving west next week. Wish me luck.

Home is. . .

Way back in the day, perhaps in the spring or fall (I don't remember), I was enjoying a particularly windy day at the high school I attended in California. I remember the sensations I felt, how the cool smell of the trees and the sound of the wind rushing through them reminded me of the mountains of Colorado. As a child, I began to associate the many visits to my hometown and what 'home' was with the city in which I currently reside. though I only lived there for a very short time, my family and I traveled there frequently to see the our extended family and friends.

every two years, my sister and I hike up with my father to a part of the mountains which has significant meaning to him. When I feel the cool air of the mountains and the sound of the wind, I think of being on that trail.

yesterday, it was cold and windy, with outbursts of rain and snow. But the way it was, reminded me of that one time when I was reminded of here. Its an odd circle, but that's what came to my mind.

look, it makes sense if you don't think about it.

Inspired Adventure

during our first official spring break together, my editor and I headed out west. I took him to visit a lot of the places I had been and he also met quite a few of my friends. On our way down to San Diego, we drove through Los Angeles, or really got stuck in traffic in L.A. From the highway we could see some fireworks off in the distance. It took us a little while to figure out where they came from, but with the help of the nearby billboard we realized we were near Disney Land! We were watching what we guessed was their end of the night celebration. It was very fun to watch, and thinking about it only makes me want to go to an amusement park even more than I already want to.

at work, there was a documentary about amusement parks on and it reminded me of our little adventure. It makes me excited to remember that not only is my editor coming to visit next week, but the week after is my spring break! I'm really hoping this week goes by fast, but as long as I get to savor time the week after!

[Ambiguous]

no matter how much I try and distract myself, I can't help but get sucked back into the depths of my mind. I try and invest myself in whatever task in doing, but i always wind back up in the same place. What am i going to do with myself once I'm back in my own home? What will I do once my editor is finished with his internship? Will we move? Will we stay here while he finishes his schooling? What about the rest of my family? What about when my dad returns home? Will I try and live close to my parents, or shall we venture off on our own? Should I focus on my dreams and head overseas?

there are so many uncertainties in my life right now that i don't know how i managed to get out of bed in the morning.

maybe im just over thinking everything.

There is a time and a place for mucking around!

I have to keep telling myself "just one more week," and maybe I'll get through all the little bits when I come to them. Little by little, day by day, but I can't let myself get too lost in the flow of time. I still have deadlines to meet and other tasks to accomplish during that time. Though as much as I would love to skip it all, I ought to stay strong and focus on doing what's right. You know, responsible things.

I can tell you for certain, work is the one place I don't want to be right now. Maybe its because its early in the morning, or because I'm slightly irritated by my coworkers, or maybe its because I just need a break, but I would really like to stay home. All I can think about is how much I want to clean up a little, and that's the one thing I never actually start doing when I have time for it.

I'm just an absolute mess right now. But that's ok, because I get to finally do some training today, and by training I mean attend a first aid class that I'm about three months past due for.

oops.

Thats why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit

Do you ever so hard that you can't even? I do.

all of yesterday it was doing what I like to call snow-raining. It was snowing so hard like it was raining, it was warm and slushy. Which meant it was actually really nice outside. I didn't know what to think of it. So, of course when I had to make a quick run back to my house for a phone charger, I couldn't actually run because of the thick layer of slush on the ground. Yet, I was still moving my legs at a fast pace while using my muscles to keep myself from slipping. It was one hell of a workout.

I honestly don't mind the snow at this time of year. It snows for about a day and all melts the next. Hooray spring?

last week, I was talking to my coworker about how much I would rather it snow all this month and rain later, so that things are a little more 'normal' I guess, when she said that there is so much snow in the mountains that when it melts for summer, we're probably going to see a little more flooding. To which I rolled my eyes and said "well I guess its a good thing my house isn't fixed yet."

speaking of which, we've actually seen quite a bit of progress regarding the rebuilding process, and that makes me happy! Honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do once I'm able to live in my own house again. It seems like such a distant memory that I lived there once.

for now, I'm going to do my best not to completely lose my mind. You know, little things.

Every now and then I fall apart

I probably should have said this earlier, but when I watch a show, I FEEL IT. this has happened to me for as long as I can remember, I get immersed in to whatever universe I am observing at the time. It makes the experience of a show/game/book that much more enjoyable!
(and now I can really understand why my parents forbade me from watching a lot of cartoons as a child, for what good that did :P ).

I'm sure you've noticed how my style of writing (I guess) will change depending on what I've been watching. Right now I'm going through a rather popular show about people playing a virtual reality game and getting stuck in it, where if you die in game, you die in real life. Its really good so far! Anyway, I feel like because I'm very invested in the story and characters, my actions and emotions reflect that in the real world. Its not just this series, but all of them!

remember when I marathoned Attack on Titan? I became part of that universe! Every single death that was part of the story, I felt it (and my god is there a lot of death). Its not the same as if I lost someone close to me, but I still carry sympathy for the other characters.

I'm not making any sense, am I?

Lets take a look at Kill la Kill, shall we? Like Gurren Lagann, each episode has me screaming, crying, jumping up in excitement, and on the edge of my seat. I was joking about it with my classmates, saying that its shows like that which make you feel the need to have a cigarette after each episode. And if you watch it with someone else, turn to them as ask "was it good for you?" that is the mark of a great show. I'm so excited for each new episode by the time its over, and waiting for it makes my weeks go by a lot faster.

Last night's episode got my blood pumping so much that I took out my sister's dog for a quick run to help calm myself down.

but I digress. . .
I keep thinking about whatever story I'm watching that it actually has an effect on my emotions. My feels are pushed to their limits! I was walking to work today and was still mulling over what I had just seen, my imagination took it and ran. By the time I was walking through the door, my heart was pounding and I was on the verge of tears! FOR ABSOLUTELY NO GODDAMN REASON!!!

maybe I'm just insane.

or maybe it's because I can't stop scream-singing "total eclipse of the heart."

I wonder.

QUIT FOLLOWING ME AROUND

Training is hard. Training people is even harder.

we're getting a few new hires, which is good, and I'm lucky enough to get to train someone today. The problem is, I don't remember what exactly in supposed to be doing. Its hard to describe how exactly I do my job.

luckily, my trainee is super cool and cooperative. He will do well. Now we just have to get through the rest of the night. . .

I almost forgot to add a title.

I spent the majority of my shift last night reading an article on anxiety. It was rather long, but enjoyable, and insightful. A lot if people, and I mean A LOT of people have and or have experienced anxiety, myself included. There are times when I absolutely start freaking out for no reason, and the next day I'm fine. It happens a lot when I get flustered at work, I usually end up hiding until the feeling goes away.

it was funny, simply reading the article made me feel nervous, and I had absolutely no reason to feel like that. Emotions are weird like that. Reading the article also made me sympathize with my editor a great deal, as he suffers from anxiety and a handful of other issues. Its tough dealing with him sometimes, but I have learned a lot from him because of it.

what I'm trying to say is that think twice before you judge someone. (generic statement is generic).

You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

I reintergrated with my phone on Friday night after the convention. It didn't take long to get everything set back up the way I needed it, so that is good. They keyboard is a little different, so its kind of a pain to write. Anyway. . .

it was actually a little nice disconnecting with the virtual world for a bit. I mean, sure, I still found ways to stay online, but I didn't talk to anyone on the phone. It was weird, and actually made me feel very lonely. I'm glad to be back.

now I can take pictures of all the things!!! All the cats!!!

Pop culture was in art, now art's in pop culture in me

Remember what I said about the universe providing me with exactly what I wanted (sometimes)? Well, for a while now, my friends from school have been pestering me to attend an anime convention that was going on this weekend. At first I was debating whether or not I wanted to go, and I was going to cancel going since I would only be able to for one day. So yesterday morning, when my sister came home from work, I woke up. It took me a while to get back to sleep, so I decided to hop on the computer and check out what was going on at the convention.

on the guest list was a name I know very well. It was one if my absolute favorite voice actors! And his band!!! I was stoked. I absolutely wanted to meet him!

so I went. And it was fun. It was nice being among my own people and seeing all the different costumes! I had fun and I definitely don't regret going. I got to meet someone I adore, and got his autograph!

that is a win in my book.

Room of Requirement

every now and then. The universe provides me with exactly what I need. The most recent example was when I found that money on the sidewalk. It actually happens quite often, I think of something that I need, and not too long afterwards, I find it. Its actually happened a lot this past week or two, but I've already forgotten most of my examples. I can't help but say "oh, that's convenient" when it happens.

the thing is though, its all just coincidence. I don't think its a sign from some deity or that I have the ability to alter space time reality (though that would be cool). I just take it as it is and go with it. And sure, sometimes I don't find what I need or I have bad days, its a process.

I wish I remembered to write this post when I first thought of it, but oh well.